Just as I do during the opening commercials and trailers, and, of course, while allowing Nicole Kidman to remind me that the movie theater is where I come to laugh, to cry, and to care, I jump on IMDb and read up on the movie I’m about to watch. When quickly scrolling through some of the user comments, I noticed one of them said something like, “This is just another Jason Statham movie.” And as I watched Mutiny, it dawned on me that, yes, this is, in fact, just another Jason Statham movie, and that’s exactly what I came for. And then I realized that blurb wasn’t necessarily a knock against the movie. It could also be seen as a positive, a reminder to those contemplating a viewing that this just may be exactly what you’re looking for.
Statham gets aligned with yet another “cool guy” name. This time, it’s Cole Reed. And Cole is on a mission to find the killer of his boss, with whom he has completely embedded himself in only five short years. So much so that while Tibu (Ramon Tikaram) is a billionaire surrounded by tons of family, friends, employees, and hangers-on, he chooses to spend his downtime with his... bodyguard. And spend time they do, as they play chess, and Tibu is so enamored with Cole that he even remembers Cole’s dad’s birthday! It wasn’t written down, I doubt Cole posted it on Facebook, Tibu just remembered... his bodyguard’s father’s birthday.
It’s no spoiler to state here and now that something bad, very bad, happens to Tibu, forcing Cole to go on a killing spree. Rather than go to the police and offer a full report, for no good reason, he’s been mistakenly called out as the murderer and is now wanted. So, what does one do in such a life- and career-changing situation? You kill a bad guy who looks almost exactly like you, steal his ID, and sneak onto his assigned cargo ship job, without a weapon, to look for the killers. And that’s exactly what Cole does.
Once on board, he meets up with Angie (Annabelle Wallis), who has unusually very, very, very low billing. She’s an extremely cute blonde who is also there in some unnamed capacity and who, it turns out, can handle herself with a gun. In fact, she stays strong and tough except for the eight seconds in her cabin while she stares at a photo of her daughter and Cole needs to calm her down and give her ye olde, “Everything’s gonna be alright, and I’m gonna get you home to your daughter” speech.
Cut to the chase: Cole kills all 47 of the 22 crew members on board, each one in a more interesting, gruesome way. He saves the girl, saves a couple dozen foreigners set for human trafficking, and gets just enough cuts and bruises to leave some cool scars, yet they never seem to cause him pain or require medical aid, even when it’s offered by the Naval doctor. And he’s so charismatic that Angie and one of the Naval rescuers, who met him less than 47 seconds ago, lie about him not being the serial killer and let him get away on the Navy boat they just came in on.
Jason Statham, dammit! Doing what he does best in just another Jason Statham movie. It was a good time. Exactly what I expected and exactly what I hoped for.
- Paul Rosen